nightstalkervamp's Journal
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3 entries this month
just an entry
21:52 Jun 20 2005
Times Read: 655
well its hot, really hot and lifting things is becoming a bit more tiresome cause of the heat, its like breathing in hot air in that place i tell you.
weekend was good though, talked to a few friends, jay has gone camping this week so wont talk to her now till she comes back, going to miss her while shes away.
me and jenny had a mad laugh lol, was real funny, hope she knows how good a friend i consider her to be, shes easy to talk to and everything, fancy a dance jen lol.
work is the same old crap, plodding along day by day but nevermind, i look forward to coming home and coming on here, talk to all my friends and get away from home at least in my mind anyway.
..........
17:03 Jun 17 2005
Times Read: 661
im now in tears cause i just have ruined a friendship with a very dear and close friend, hannah im so sorry i didnt mean to upset u or hurt u, please forgive me
i just wanna die now, i feel dead inside another piece of my heart has gone, crumbled away into dust im so sorry i just want her as a friend again, please
my headaches are getting worse now, each day i feel weaker and the shakes in my hands are coming more frequently, no one knows bout it and no one here is going to find out, ill control it someway, i just want a quick end i need a gun with just one bullet thats all, im so empty inside, i need a hug real bad.
wish i had no feelings
18:21 Jun 08 2005
Times Read: 663
i dont want to feel anything anymore, i keep thinking bout my future and i just want to have the strength to take loads of pills and drink myself to death and i dont belive that shit bout how it takes more strength to live cause ive been doing that and it aint got me no where. my worst fear is just being alone plain and simple and yet everything i think bout he life ahead of me, thats how i see myself, being alone, having noone to share my life with and it just gets me so down that i just want to scream and snap until something happens.
if i had a gun with one bullet it wud be so much easier i cud just put it to my head and pull the trigger, god i hate my life so fucking much right now, i dont wanna feel this way and yet its all i know.
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